I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "today just can't get any worse" this morning. Life, as she was climbing on her high horse ,responded with "I accept your challenge" - and so I bellyache..
I HATE.. (Yes, I'm going there.)
Sour food.
Salty food.
Roger Goodell.
Women driving while talking on the phone.
Women driving.
Horror movies.
The Packers.
Being late.
Bad haircuts.
MSN.
Being unable to sneeze.
I hate when people say "they really need to write a book about my life". Whoever they is needs to be shot. Your life is lame, and reading about it will give my eyes gonorrhea.
Charismatics holding their hands in the air.
Scavenger hunts.
Fondue sets. Yay, swiss communal germs and molten cheese. Ain't nothin' fon about it.
Godaddy.
People who say "yes, but..".
Mimes, fan fiction, and tracing paper. The lowest form of each genre.
The price of first class air tickets.
Tyra Banks.
God I hate Tyra Banks.
When people don't understand sarcasm. Though I'm glad you took it as a compliment, I was actually trying to tell you you're a twatknuckle.
The fact that my blogger dictionary didn't acknowledge twatknuckle as a word.
Americans pronouncing Ob/Gyn as if it's an acronym.
Sitcom series DVD covers where all the actors are clustered together grinning blandly, totally ignoring their in-show personalities.
When you can't tell if someone is male or female.
Losing pen caps.
Nasal office secretary women with snarky attitudes. In fact, all people who speak like they have a permanently bunged up nose.
Somalians.
Racists.
The concept of unemployment benefits.
Men who insist on sitting with their legs spread wide like they have got something there.
And democrats. If you voted for Obama in '08 to prove that you're not a racist, I suggest you don't in '12 to prove you're not an idiot.
That should do it. I feel much better. Beer me.
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