Everyone has that person in your life that annoys the crap out of them but they're not actually a big enough of a dick to call them out on it. Well, this week, my birthday week, I got the pleasure of "bitching" this buddy of mine out, if you will. My rule of thumb as a person...don't bitch. I am usually very mellow. In fact, so mellow my friends and family are more likely to be offended by something offensive that I just laughed my ass off at. I guess my first response is to just laugh -- who knows. It's probably because I was really bullied in junior high. Seriously, I was. The start of my freshman year my parents began to offer me 20 dollars for every day I successfully did my hair and managed to not wear an article of AndOne clothing. Not joking. I got picked before half the boys in gym class for dodgeball. You think this made me very many girlfriends? No. I am, however, proud to admit the girls in my class invited me over for a sleepover and had a burping contest that I refused to participate in because I thought it was "gross". Manners, bitches, manners. So who knows the origin of my instinct to laugh things off, but either way, this gem of a friend of mine really knocked it out of the park with a comment he made about my car accident and I went completely Casey Anthony on him. I felt like a segment of Jersey Shore. And now I feel so bad about it that I have to blogvent...blent...vent via blog. Even though I was the one that very well should have been offended. Oh, the repercussions of being raised by kind parents. So if this one tiny incident caused me stress in my life and caused me to feel bad, I can't imagine how people who actually enjoy drama stay sane. No wonder all these people on reality TV act crazy...they ARE crazy.
On a happier note, I turned 22 on Saturday and even though I worked, it was a wonderful day full of birthday surprises and I felt incredibly special. I was struck by the love.
Yesterday, I helped a friend of mine grade midterm essay exams. Since when can't kids spell? I'm going to go back to school for my PhD in English Literature and start pulling jocks out of sports until they can successfully spell "basketball" and use it in a sentence. Oh, and as long as I live I'll never again be able to use the words "therefore", "clearly", and "significantly" ever again.
Clearly, I'm full of crap.
Speaking of full of crap, I want to be the inventor of the "Sarcasm Font" and patent that biz. Therefore, all the Section 8's that read my blog and get their panties all knotted up thinking I'm serious will have access to that fun little thing the rest of us call a "sense of humor".
Damnit. I also used "therefore".
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