Hi, my name is Kalae, and I judge everybody.

So a few things have come up lately that have caused me to think about the whole concept of judging others.

Or, perhaps, not judging others.

People tend to say that a lot: "Don't judge."

Or "I don't judge." This is, in my opinion, one of the hugest piles of steaming bullshit around.

Most of the individuals who claim "not to judge" are some of the most judgmental people on the planet - they just keep it all inside - obsessed with the political correctness movement, wherein we all judge each other silently, but violently, and stand from our pedestal of righteousness and superiority since we refer to criminals as "unsavory characters", drug addicts as "chemically challenged", and lazy pieces of shit as "motivationally deficient".

Which are, in and of themselves, judgments.

Because as far as I can tell, there is no way to avoid judging others. It's like an auto-pilot reaction to life. I have been conditioned by my social,  economic, and cultural background to perceive the world in a certain way. I've developed black and white areas in my head distinguishing between right and wrong. educated or not, classy or not - the list continues.

I can't just THINK that shit away. I can't just erase them with positive self-talk and Oprah.

In my experience, the best thing to do with judgments is to admit they're there, face them directly, and focus on being as willing as possible to let them go should information that negates them comes my way and try to keep an open mind.

After giving it some thought, I think people that say "don't judge" really mean "don't condemn".

And that, I think, is some sound advice. If I reject people because they're doing something I don't agree with, I have entered the land of closed-mindedness and I am sure to stay swimming forever in a pool of my own judgments and hate.

I have all kinds of people in my life that do things that make me wonder if they have a mental disorder, but I freaking love them anyway. My love goes past my ego's need to judge them. I watch my judgement come up, maybe I say something, maybe I don't, but it's always about going back to loving them. There's more to a person than the one thing that REALLY irritates me. 

Hold onto that.


Unless that thing is really fucking BIG. Then we can't be friends. I'm not Mother Theresa, you know.

Some behavior needs to be judged. We have to use our brains to look critically at what this world is selling us. Someone can't just beat their child and have everyone think "oh, let's be open minded and support them in their beliefs".

So where to we draw the line? Everyone has their own interpretation of right and wrong, sure some are obvious, like child abuse, but on smaller-scale things like how to treat someone that's done you wrong...some would say "an eye for an eye" and others would say "turn the other cheek" - so which is right? They're completely opposite...is there a compromise?

For instance, Martin Luther King Jr. Was he not judging? Was he not taking a look at this society and analyzing it like a jeweler analyzes a diamond, assessing what is right and wrong. He judged, but he didn't condemn. And his love made him profoundly effective.

No, I am not comparing myself to MLK Jr. Um....that would be ridiculous. He changed our country. I say "fuck" a lot and complain about the weather.

But I do try in my own small, unimportant, slightly pathetic way, to say things honestly as I see them, to stand up for things that I believe to be true and right and real.

I've never had the gift of small talk or indirectness or beating around the proverbial bush. Consequently, I am really good at removing my foot from my mouth.

I am so used to being wrong it's not even funny.

But I still get worked up when others tell me I'm wrong, as my ego stomps it's foot, screaming obscenities from the corner of the room, and I write pissed off retaliatory blogs. I am childish, self-centered, egotistical, and shallow.

I am a person with judgments, and disasters, and failures, and tantrums.

I will let you down. I will contradict myself. I will walk out too soon and overstay my welcome. I will speak the wrong words.

I just hope you all can love me the same way I will strive to love all of you.